Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Randomize
