You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
