we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
