i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Randomize
