I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
