he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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