I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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