You just made me feel so damn special
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
