i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
the condom got lost in my hair
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
