She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
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