Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
