ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
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