I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I think im going to throw up on grandma
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
