You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
