Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
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