Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
