just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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