she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
