There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
