giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Randomize
