Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Randomize
