What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Randomize
