I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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