how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
