is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
