Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
