im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
