Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Randomize
