weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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