I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize