OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
