whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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