I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I think people are normalizing furries
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize