he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
