marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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