It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Ladies don't puke and tell
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
