i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I smell like Dick and happiness
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
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