btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
