You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
