He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
