Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
