We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Randomize