If i come over, it means nothing
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
