No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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