your thong is hanging out like whoa
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Randomize