so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Randomize
