Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
