Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
i believe in u and ur pee
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
