it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
