***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
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