Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
