I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
