It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
