Rock
Scissors
Fuck
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Randomize
