physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize