craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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