I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
