...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Is it because I queefed?
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
Randomize
