I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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