I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
