Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
She bit a glass in half.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
