Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I will be naked everywhere
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
