I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
