around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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