She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize