the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Randomize
