How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Drunk yet?
Well I just did the worm on an empty dance floor while the bridesmaids were serving cake. You tell me.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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