Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
