Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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