Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Randomize
